Act Now: Do Nothing
Happy Thursday! You made it!
Here is a hard thing I hear from parents every day: We often get so busy with the care and keeping of our children and households that we almost never get to spend a few minutes with our kids, just talking or doing “nothing.” We are so focused on getting them to after school activities, assembling some kind of dinner, or trying to keep the house from falling apart, and organizing or getting them to birthday parties, sporting events, and family visits that we just don’t have enough time in the day for even a few minutes of downtime together. And that’s not even considering that many of us have demanding and fulfilling work outside the home.
But spending time with our kids– not transporting them somewhere, dragging them on an errand, or doing something for them– is really, really important. I am not saying this with ANY judgment. It’s a reminder that I think all parents– myself included– need regularly.
I am not suggesting that you cancel all of your obligations and stare deeply into your child’s eyes for hours at a time to connect. I’m just saying that many, many parents feel so frazzled by the millions of things they have to do to take care of their kids, and the endless decisions they have to make about every single aspect of everything, that they sometimes forget that what kids need more than anything else is some unstructured one-on-one time with their parents. Yes, even teenagers.
So take this as your gentle, friendly, loving reminder to carve out a few minutes every day or so to do something (or nothing) one-on-one with each of your kids. If that sounds daunting, or if you don’t even know what that would look like, please reach out. I have lots of simple ideas that will help you get started.
Tip of the Week: If you haven’t spent a lot of unstructured one-on-one time with your child lately, start small with a card game, a funny animal video, or a word game. Ask your child what they would like to do if they had 10 minutes to just hang out with you, and see if you can make that happen. It can (should) cost nothing and be pure fun. I’d love to know what they choose!
Resource of the Week: There is robust research to support the assertion that need for connection is as great (or ultimately greater) than the need for food, water, clothing, sleep, and shelter. Check out this fascinating article.
Want to explore how I can help parenting make sense, even when it looks nothing like what you expected? Send me a message here.
You’ve got this,
Cari
One more thing– Please forward this to any other parents who might love some short, sweet, and useful weekly parenting tips! (If you got this from a friend, good job for having such thoughtful people looking out for you! Please head over to my website to sign up for the weekly newsletter.)
