Screen Time: Finding What's Right for Your Family
Happy Thursday! You made it!
There is a persistent rumor that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates didn’t give their kids access to technology. According to my very cursory research, this is not quite accurate, but they certainly didn’t give their children unlimited access to screens. My guess is that they probably struggled with the pros and cons of giving technology to kids like the rest of us.
And, boy, did we struggle. My extremely conservative estimate is that 75% of our biggest disagreements with our younger child were about screen time. The adults of the house wanted more limitations, more restrictions, and more rules; our kiddo wanted more access, more time, more freedom. We thought it was eating their brains and exposing them to too much, too soon. And they thought we were ridiculous and overprotective kill-joys. Fun times.
We managed to find a fragile sliver of land somewhere between “everything” and “nothing” that we can all live with, but it was a very personal decision based on what we believe is right for our family.
So today, I am going to leave you with more questions than answers. My goal is to help you identify your boundary lines and to start thinking less about what’s right for other people and more about what is right for your family.
Adult Screen Use
How do the adults in the house model technology use?
Do you bring your phone with you to the table? To the bathroom?
Where does your phone get plugged in at night?
How much time do your kids see the adults on computers? Phones/ tablets? TV? Gaming devices? Other technology?
How often do your kids see you engaging in hobbies or tasks that don’t have screens?
How Much, When & Where
Do you think your kids should have screen time limits?
Do you have the emotional, mental, physical, and technological capacity to enforce the limits?
How much screen time is enough for them? How much is too much?
How do you know when your kids have crossed from enough to too much?
If you’re not a fan of hard-and-fast limits, does it make sense for your family to put parameters around the times of day screens are/ are not allowed (ex. not before 10:00 am, not at the table, or everything gets turned off two hours before bedtime)?
Where in the house are they allowed to access technology? Are there any rooms where technology is NOT allowed?
Where do their devices park at night?
How do these guidelines get communicated and reinforced to your children?
What On Earth Are They Up To
What are they allowed to do on their screens?
How much access do they have to the internet?
How do you know what they are up to online?
What safety measures are in place to protect them from things they are not ready for or that are unsafe?
What will happen if they cross a boundary?
Do you differentiate between consumption (passively watching something), gaming (actively engaging with the tech), and creation (using technology to make/build something original)?
Are there different rules if they are on technology alone or engaged with friends?
When Things Go Wrong?
What is your plan for times when they resist turning it off or don’t follow the guidelines? (Hint: Repeating yourself and yelling isn’t a plan.)
What are the signs that your child needs more support or boundaries about screens?
How will you know if they are developing problematic screen time use or addiction?
What is your plan for if/when that happens?
There are no easy answers to any of these questions but asking them could be a step toward creating a cohesive technology plan for your family. If you need help with technology, I have been through it literally and figuratively. Please reach out!
Tip of the Week: Talk to your child/ren about screen time use in your house. Ask them some of the questions above. You might be surprised at their answers.
Resource of the Week: Savvy Cyber Kids helps parents and teachers educate children in cyber safety, cyber ethics and other aspects of their daily tech lives. Savvy Cyber Kids offers a platform of FREE educational resources for parents of preschool through high school students. (My kiddo wrote a few blog posts for this non-profit as part of a summer internship. If you see their name, that’s why!)
Want to explore how I can help parenting make sense, even when it feels unmanageable? Let’s talk.
You’ve got this,
Cari
One more thing– Please forward this to any other parents who might love some short, sweet, and useful weekly parenting tips! (If you got this from a friend, good job for having such thoughtful people looking out for you! Please head over to my website to check it out, or click here to sign up for the weekly newsletter.)
