Be Grateful, Dammit!
Latkes? Check! Donuts? Check!
Tree?! Yule Log? Kinara? Check, check, check!
Alright, people. It’s GO TIME.
Gather the adorable children!
Release the relatives with an unspeakable number of gifts!
Cue meltdowns in 3…2…1… 🧨
I get to see a lot of parents in action, and 100% of those who celebrate winter holidays experience so much anticipatory anxiety leading up to the celebrations. One of the main stressors? Gifts! Specifically, how kids act after they have just opened their gifts. Multiply this by 100 if the gift opening occurs in the presence of other people. Parents live in fear of their children looking disappointed, bursting into tears because they like their sibling’s gift better, or saying, “I already have three of these.”
Here’s the thing-
We like to think that we model gratitude all year and have taught our children to be genuinely thankful for other’s generosity. While that might be true, sometimes emotions or adrenaline get the best of our kids during the holidays, and they forget to SHOW gratitude. That leaves us saying things like, “What do we say to Aunt Marge, honey?” while drilling into them with our eyeballs.
There is hope!
Before your family’s holiday celebration begins, take a few minutes to discuss your expectations about opening presents. Don’t beat around the bush or hint; tell your children exactly what you want them to do or say in different situations. Do not be afraid to prepare kids for the “worst.” Someone may give them something they don’t like, and they will have to tolerate the disappointment. It’s a little easier if they are prepared ahead of time and know what to do.
Another way to cultivate gratitude is to make the holidays about gift-GIVING. There are a million ways to give to others this season and all year, so if you’re worried that your children have a bad case of the “Wants,” it might be time to consider working together to clean and donate gently used items, make care packages for homeless shelters, or provide a holiday meal for people who need it. Focusing on others is a great way to stop focusing on ourselves.
Tip of the Week: If you have young-ish kids, don’t just talk about what to do or say when opening gifts. Practice! You can make it a game by acting out things people should and shouldn’t do and say when opening presents. Getting playful about social learning is a great way to make it stick.
Resource or Activity of the Week: If you like the idea of playing around with social ideas, check out the game Should I or Shouldn’t I? Elementary School Version / Teen Version
Want to explore how I can help parenting make sense, even when joyful moments feel hard? Reach out!
However you celebrate, I hope it’s a good one. See you in January!
You’ve got this,
Cari
One more thing– Please forward this to any other parents who might love some short, sweet, and valuable weekly parenting tips! (If you got this from a friend, good job for having such thoughtful people looking out for you! Please head over to my website to check it out, or click here to sign up for the weekly newsletter.)
