Bedtime Routines
Happy Thursday! You made it!
Oh, bedtime! Glorious bedtime. When you tuck your darling little angels in their cozy beds, wish them sweet dreams, turn out the light and leave them to peacefully fall asleep so you can go put your feet up and enjoy a few minutes alone to read a book or sip tea by the fire.
Hahaha– just kidding.
Bedtime marks the unfolding of the most unholy confluence of events–
Your limited patience after a long day meets
The endless list of tasks to do before YOU can go to bed (cleaning up the kitchen, finishing your work, folding clothes, making and packing lunches…) meets
Your child’s exhaustion (whining, crying, thrashing, refusing to get in bed and be still) meets
Their constant needs (for you to stay a little longer, one more sip of water, open the door the exact right amount, leave the hall light on, check on them in two minutes…)
– until someone loses it.
Not a great way to say goodnight.
Or if you have teenagers, your bedtime often means going to bed before they do and praying that they put themselves to bed before midnight so tomorrow morning won’t be a waking nightmare.
If bedtime is tricky for your kids and you, consider testing and creating a well-oiled, finely-tuned bedtime routine. A good bedtime routine helps cue kids’ (and adults’) bodies to get ready for sleep. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Bedtime should start at around the same time each night and should begin BEFORE kids are sleepy.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends shutting off screens 30-60 minutes before bedtime. I advise parents to avoid screen use for their kids for two hours before bedtime. This is not my most popular advice, but I stand by it.
The steps of a bedtime routine should be done in approximately the same order every night, regardless of where they are or who is putting them to bed.
The routine should move the child from the common, public area of the house (family room/ kitchen), to the family area (bedroom/bathroom), to the private sleep sanctuary.
It helps to limit physiological changes (temperature changes, heart rate, stress level) close to bedtime. Experiment with the timing of bath time and physical activity to see what works for your family.
Leave the child’s room when they are sleepy but not fast asleep. This helps them learn that they can fall asleep without you there.
Bedtime routines should be short and sweet. If the going-to-bed process extends for too long or becomes ritualistic, it can cause stress for the parent and child.
It’s easiest for kids to fall asleep when there is reduced household activity. Some families “shut down” the house when it’s time for the kids to go to bed so they don’t feel like they’re missing out on all the fun. (This isn’t always realistic for parents who have to go back to the kitchen to clean up or finish their workday, but it’s magical when you can pull it off. It also gives you the opportunity to go to bed early– hallelujah!)
Tip of the Week: Even if their ideas aren’t as efficient as yours, invite your children to participate in creating bedtime routines. This is a great way for them to buy into the process and learn how time works (yes, even teenagers ).
Resource or Activity of the Week: Serious Potty Language Warning– If you do not care for the F-Word, do NOT watch/listen to Samuel L. Jackson reading Go the F%#k to Sleep by Adam Mansbach. This cracks me up every time.
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Want to explore how I can help bedtime make sense, even when it’s a hot mess? Let’s talk.
You’ve got this,
Cari
One more thing– Please forward this to any other parents who might love some short, sweet, and useful weekly parenting tips! (If you got this from a friend, good job for having such thoughtful people looking out for you! Please head over to my website to check it out, or click here to sign up for the weekly newsletter.)
